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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
What offends you?
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14 Apr 2009, 04:45
valerieeeee
Post Count: 274
me too. it makes me cringe. it's so terrible. that's the only swear word that TRULY bothers me.
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13 Apr 2009, 03:42
Aiure
Post Count: 308
Most of the offensive situations that I run into nowadays are work related. Asinine statements or arrogant behaviour, usually involving the retail sector or jewellery (but it applies to general life situations as well). Maybe I take my job a little too personally, but I hate it when people treat me or the merchandise I sell as something akin to discovering they stepped in dog shit.

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13 Apr 2009, 03:50
starsmaycollide
Post Count: 408
oh yes, reminds me of my restaurant days. Those customers were some of the rudest people one could ever meet. They treated our servers like effing slaves sometimes. It was upsetting. As a hostess, I was treated as though I was stupid on multiple occasions and people were very demanding. I really think people assume that if you work in service, you must be a moron. That's pretty offensive.
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13 Apr 2009, 03:52
Villy
Post Count: 204
There isn't a whole lot that offends me nowadays. There are things that certainly turn me off *people that find rape and domestic abuse funny, for instance* but I can't say I'm truly OFFENDED. I do get offended when people make incredibly asinine and insulting assumptions about people that follow my religion without having any real information. I think it happens with every religion, lifestyle, and culture, but it seems to happen a lot more with Paganism. You know, like when people assume that because I'm Wiccan I spend my nights making ritual sacrifices with goats and using my cat as a familiar.

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13 Apr 2009, 04:47
Aiure
Post Count: 308
I see so many people point at the pentagrams at work and say something about Satan. I correct them when they do, and most people seem to be fairly open to learning something new. Some, however, are hell bent on believing they're Satanic symbols, and those are the kinds of people that offend me. Stubborn and ignorant, and education goes in one ear and right out the other.

I think it's absolutely hilarious, though, when someone mistakes a Star of David for a pentagram. They tend to get very embarrassed when I correct them, especially when they figure out that my boss is Jewish.
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13 Apr 2009, 07:25
Villy
Post Count: 204
Oh I also love when people ask me if its just like Charmed.

Though that's not offensive to me, its rather amusing. Unless, of course, they say it to make fun of me, and not out of ignorance. I've actually had it asked of me in all seriousness. When I was with Mark, and we went out with a couple of his friends, one of which is also Wiccan. The other is very strict Catholic. Very nice, extremely intelligent, wonderfully talented woman, but not very educated on other religions. So the subject of Wicca came up, and she was curious so we tried to explain it to her. And she sat there looking all confused for awhile, then had a "Eureka!" moment and says, "Oh! So its like Charmed, right?"

/facepalm
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13 Apr 2009, 22:44
~*Pagan*~
Post Count: 378
YES!!!! I get so suck of being asked is it like charmed?

I also get sick of being asked if I will help hex someone:P

Fuck having that on my karmic debt :P hex them yourself!
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13 Apr 2009, 23:17
Villy
Post Count: 204
Or, "Can you do a spell to make me win the lottery?"

Fuck that. If I could do that, I'd do it for myself.

Or, "Can you do love spells? Because there's, like, this totally cute boy and I, like, am sooo totally in love with him, but he like, so doesn't like me!"
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13 Apr 2009, 23:22
~*Pagan*~
Post Count: 378
hell yeah...

i had a male friend once always asking me for a love potion..

he came over for a coffee one day....when he had finished it i smiled at him and asked... "did your coffee taste ok steve?"

was hilarious..he never asked again ;)
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13 Apr 2009, 23:25
Villy
Post Count: 204
AHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm so filing that away for future reference.
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13 Apr 2009, 13:26
Lunar Sea
Post Count: 128
Do you think making rape jokes in general is the same as finding it funny? I only ask because I make a lot of jokes and use really inappropriate humour to deal with things, and the rest of my friend group is very similar.
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13 Apr 2009, 14:42
Villy
Post Count: 204
Not necessarily, I'm the same way.
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14 Apr 2009, 00:11
Lunar Sea
Post Count: 128
Out of curiosity, then, how do you look for the difference? If someone you didn't know well made a rape joke would you be offended? Or would it depend on the joke or the tone of their laughter?
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14 Apr 2009, 01:49
Villy
Post Count: 204
I guess it depends on the joke and the tone. And I suppose it depends on what you mean by "inappropriate humor."

If someone is joking around with their friends, and says "Rape!Rape!" I'm not going to be offended. There are some guild names on WoW that I've seen, like "Sapped Girls Can't Say No" that I suppose are referencing date rape or whatever, but they don't offend me. If my boyfriend says, "Get my dinner bitch!" or says something like, "Don't make me bitchslap you!" I'm not offended. I know him, I know his tone, and I know he would never hurt me. Even when its someone you don't know, you can USUALLY tell that they are joking.

But when I was in high school, a friend of mine was raped. And I remember some guys saying things like, "Proves how hot she is!" or "Sucks, because now she won't wear tight pants!" They were very clearly making light of a very painful experience for my friend, an experience similar to one I'd had myself just a couple of years earlier.

A couple of years ago, when I worked at Wendy's, I worked with a bunch of teenage boys. When a serial rapist was caught in my area, they made a lot of crude jokes about the victims. About how they deserved it and such. Maybe that's the kind of inappropriate humor you meant, and in that case, yeah, I would probably be a bit offended. Not to the point that I would flip out, because that's not in my nature. It does, however, change how I see the people making the jokes.

I also don't find things like this to be amusing.

Maybe it makes me oversensitive, or thin-skinned, or whatever.

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14 Apr 2009, 01:57
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
The link didn't work.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:01
Villy
Post Count: 204
really? Worked for me. hmm...

well, this was the url in the link.

http://www.demotivateus.com/posters/stairs-abuse-demotivational-poster.jpg

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14 Apr 2009, 02:02
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
Hmmm...maybe it's just my browser. Stupid pos anyway.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:06
~*Pagan*~
Post Count: 378
Just opened that link, and no...thats not funny.

My friend was murdered by her husband after years of domestic abuse...I dont see that as entertaining at all.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:15
Villy
Post Count: 204
Its bothersome to me that Josh does.

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14 Apr 2009, 02:42
Lunar Sea
Post Count: 128
No, I agree completely about humour regarding rape victims deserving it, and also the responses your friend got in high school. That's a level of callous that I don't enjoy.

I suppose the kind of jokes I'm used to are ones like this (which was on Mock The Week, I think):

What pleases 9 out of 10 people?
...
...
...
Gang rape.

The kind of jokes we make tend to be along the lines of the scale of rape, from a little rapey to Total Rape, and how making tender Not Rape is a very defensive attitude towards your lovemaking. It's normally silly. Like yourself, I've been the victim of rape, and I actually found laughing about it was pretty much the only way I could cope. I do sometimes worry that people who don't know me or my friends will overhear us and be horrified, and get totally the wrong end of the stick.

I think the line for me is when it becomes about mocking the victims directly.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:44
Villy
Post Count: 204
I agree. I think that is the line for me as well.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:50
Villy
Post Count: 204
Actually, I just thought of something that my boyfriend said earlier that completely pissed me off.

2 years ago today, my adoptive father died. We were talking about it, and it somehow came around to the time line of my life. He said it must have been rough, having 7 years away from my biological father, finally starting to feel safe, and trusting, and then getting thrust into a foster home where I was raped. I agreed that it was, and then he joked, "And somehow you still turned out to be a nympho! That's kinda weird!" Again, I agreed, and then he piped up with, "Maybe somewhere deep down you enjoyed it then!"

THAT is what pissed me off. I worked DAMN hard to not let my past affect my present, to not let the people who abused me have power over my adult life. To make light of it like that offended me on so many levels.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:54
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
You had every right to be offended by that statement. Had it been MY boyfriend who said something like that, I'd first have slapped him, and second he'd be lucky to not get his ass kicked out pronto.
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14 Apr 2009, 02:57
Lunar Sea
Post Count: 128
Oh, god, yes. That's horrible. There is so much stigma attached to victims blaming them for what's done to them - from people who say that you 'allow' yourself to be abused to the implication that wearing a short skirt is an open invitation. It shouldn't be said even in jest.
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14 Apr 2009, 18:57
.love.struck.
Post Count: 492
Wow, he got a little out of hand there. I would of hit him if that was me.
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