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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Daycare and Stay At Home Mothers
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8 Apr 2009, 01:55
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
Not only that, but if they're not exposed to it then, they'll come home with stomach bugs and lice and chicken pox and all that great stuff aged 4 and in preschool, just the same.
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8 Apr 2009, 13:18
Laurarose
Post Count: 78
my daughter started nursery- in the afternoons for three days a week, and then went to five days a weeks 3 months later- aged 3 and a half but she didn't pick anything up from there then, and then she started fulltime in september [it's preschool shes in now] and now she comes home with every cold under the sun lol!
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7 Apr 2009, 14:49
Laurarose
Post Count: 78
I can only speak this from my own personal experience with my two children, but no matter what plans and opinions you make/have for when you have children, as soon as they're born it all changes lol!
I felt the same way about child care/ day cares but at age three Emma was really scared about being around kids her age- she was fine with babies and older kids- but found kids of her height intimidating.
We tried those stay and play groups where the parents stayed and she'd just cling to me. I did everything imaginable to try and get her to interact or just to play on her own but she wouldn't have it.

at 3 and a half there was a letter in the door about a nursery up the road for either morning or afternoons and I decided to send her there three times a week. She hated it at first, and I hated it the whole time. I hated that I had to leave her and she wasn't home with me anymore but at the same time it made me appriciate my time with her more.

the next term she got into the nursery at the school I want her to attend and again, she really didn't like but when she started there in September full time [aged four and a half] she was loving it. She already knew the teachers and kids there and really enjoys going and she's going to be going into school there september with all her friends that are already in her class so I'm glad that I did send early. Although it did cause me more tears when she had to start fulltime last september but at least we're both OK with it now.

It all depends on the child. You may have a child that constantly prefers to be around child, to be on the go doing something, might have alot more independence than you can handle and you may see that placing them in a nursery as a good option for them.

You're child might be somewhere inbetween who just adapts well to new surroundings and therefore won't need to start them anywhere except school.

who knows.
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7 Apr 2009, 14:54
Laurarose
Post Count: 78
sorry for spelling errors up there^^ lol! before anyone starts I do know the difference between your and you're!! haha!
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7 Apr 2009, 15:24
♥ Hollie
Post Count: 33
I don't think SAHM should put their kids in daycare, unless they are working. As a working mom I know how hard it is to find daycare with available spots for toddlers. Why take them away from someone like me that needs them just so you can get a break from your child?
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7 Apr 2009, 16:17
.Amber.
Post Count: 260
Because everyone needs a break - regardless. If your toddler is already in daycare because you're working - then their spot should already be secure.
No one should be denied a break, just because they do or do not work.
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7 Apr 2009, 16:58
♥ Hollie
Post Count: 33
Yes, my toddler is already in daycare. But it took me a long time to find a daycare that had an open spot for her.
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7 Apr 2009, 22:37
Gem♥
Post Count: 132
lol i think you got confused there... SAHM = stay at home mum.. they arent going to be staying at home if they are working!
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8 Apr 2009, 01:11
Villy
Post Count: 204
You could be a WAHM, though. In which case, they'd still be at home, but might want their kids in daycare or being babysat a couple days a week so they can be extra productive.

That's how I used to make money when i was younger. Aorund12-13. My sister sold Amway. So on Wednesday nights, when she hosted Bible study in her home, I'd watch her kids + the kids of the people in her group. Then I'd stay on the night, and watch her kids on Thursday so that she had at least ONE day a week where she could work without interruption.

I know that wasn't really the question being asked in this thread. I'm just saying, they could be at home and STILL be a working mother.
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8 Apr 2009, 02:27
♥ Hollie
Post Count: 33
I meant if they were working part time or WAHM.
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7 Apr 2009, 16:07
Makayla
Post Count: 751
IMO the only reason I would think a SAHM would need to use a daycare is if you are a single mother, who doesn't have friends or family that you trust to visit with your children to interact with their children and you are all alone. But if that were the case, sounds like your time should be spent on getting a job, if you are alone with a baby bc how are you financially supporting them, and how are you able to pay for daycare? So no, I do not think it's right for a SAHM to use a daycare. Because, if you are a SAHM then you should have a spouse that is bringing in the income, so you have a break when they come home, and can entertain the child(ren) when they get home from work.
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7 Apr 2009, 17:45
Transit
Post Count: 1096
SAHM means you look after your children, instead of paying someone else to raise them.
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7 Apr 2009, 22:40
brooke !
Post Count: 100
how are SAHM's who put their kids in daycare a couple days a week paying for someone else to raise their children? are those daycare providers with those children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? do they get to put up with all their tantrums, and fits and sicknesses? NO, clearly they don't. so being with someone a few days a week does not constitute as "raising your child"
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7 Apr 2009, 22:52
Transit
Post Count: 1096
SAHM=stay at HOME mum
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7 Apr 2009, 22:54
brooke !
Post Count: 100
transit, are you saying that stay at HOME moms cannot go OUTSIDE the house the entire day? stay at home moms simply DO NOT WORK outside of the home, that does not mean they can't go run errands or such.
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8 Apr 2009, 15:58
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Don't play the retard, stay at home mother means looking after your children yourself instead of dumping them on other people.
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8 Apr 2009, 17:35
brooke !
Post Count: 100
lol really, i am playing a retard? because when i was a stay at home mom to my son, i let my MIL watch him while i would go run errands for the household. does that mean i'm dumping my child on other people? sure, but it's not like he was with her 24/7, it was for maybe an hour or two A DAY. GET A FUCKING CLUE, you don't have children obviously, so you have no fucking idea what it's like to be a stay at home mom.
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8 Apr 2009, 20:22
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
Isn't it great when people who have never actually HAD children think they can give parenting advice?
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8 Apr 2009, 20:25
brooke !
Post Count: 100
i cannot fucking stand it. i will admit, i may not be the most experienced mom here, but i do know more than those who have NEVER had children.
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9 Apr 2009, 07:47
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
Do you have a child? lol
If you put a child in day care for 2 days a week - say 6 hours a day - for a total of 12 hours a week.. at your own expenses.. that is hardly having someone else raise your children ;]
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7 Apr 2009, 20:26
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
How many SAHM are there here that don't have fathers on the scene?
Coz there seems to be a hell of a lot of people who seem to bypass the fact that the childs father could watch them for a couple of hours so mum can go out and get a few hours to herself.

I understand that sometims one day a week is need because there are not play groups or other groups available. Luckily I have the luxury of having playgroups at my disposal and also I have friends with kids, and family with kids. But when your children are so young and you are a SAHM it is because you have made the choice to be. Does that mean you deserve a break? Well, I'm not entirely sure. But I know that when I need a break that is what my partner is there for, and my parents have offered the same luxury. Not some child care worker in a room full of kids. (And for the record I have worked in childcare and I know EXACTLY how the system - in Australia - works).
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9 Apr 2009, 07:49
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
Lady blue bella: "How many SAHM are there here that don't have fathers on the scene?"

My daughter's real Dad has never been involved. Having him watch her for a few hours so I can have some "me time" is highly unlikely as he doesn't see her on a regular basis anyways!
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7 Apr 2009, 20:53
BeautifulBrownEyes
Post Count: 68
In my case, I put my oldest in "mom's day out" (first we did 3 days a week, but then went to 2) when she was 3 because I DIDN'T have her dad around. We had just moved halfway across the US and my husband worked offshore. I didn't know ANYONE, so yeah, it was a break for me. But at the same time, even though we were VERY active in playgroups, I still felt like she needed the structured socialization and early education. Before I had kids I had planned on homeschooling, but once my first was born, I realized it wasn't going to work.

There is nothing wrong with women who need to have a break from their children a couple days a week. Everybody has different tolerance thresholds, and if putting their child in MDO or daycare a couple days a week keeps mommy from going all Marie Osmond, then so be it.
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7 Apr 2009, 20:55
septemberocio
Post Count: 61
I really don't know why people just can't seem to accept things as they are. If someone wants to do something for themselves, for a second or because they could POSSIBLY deserve it, then why is it hard to accept that? We have kids, and some want AND need to have time for themselves. There isn't anything wrong with that. Your opinions are valid and respected, but because people don't do things your way, doesn't mean that anyone has to get childish and start offending people or assume people are just sitting on their "ass". Each situation is difference, unless there is some major damage being done, what is the problem?

You put your child in daycare, well you have your reasons.
If you don't, then you have your own reasons as well.

See, how easy it is?

Besides, sometimes there are single parents (like me) who really just need some time OUT. OH because I have a child means that I could never have sometime BECAUSE i chose to HAVE my baby? Well, that's your lifestyle, and although my child comes first, I do have some time for myself when I could.
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7 Apr 2009, 21:00
septemberocio
Post Count: 61
P.S I don't put my child in daycare, mainly because I have someone in my family take care of him when I work OR the times I have a sometime off. I personally don't know EVERYTHING about child day care because I haven't put my son in one, but if I were to ever find a very suiting one that he would enjoy, then possibly.. how many times a week is something else to consider because i do value my time with my son, and i don't really leave him anywhere.

But my point is, that every situation is different, and we should respect them.
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