There is this show on Amazon Prime that I just recently started watching, and is by far the best show I have watched. This show tells about real events in history... BY DRUNK PEOPLE. It is absolutely hilarious! So far, the story about the Statue of Liberty is my favorite. Here's how it is told, from a drunk:
We have the Statue of Liberty today because of a man named Frederic Batholdi, a sculptor in France. One day he was sitting down with his buddy in 1865. "The United States is turning 100 fucking years old soon, someone has got to give them a gift, and it should be France." Frederic was like "Fuck yeah. That sounds fucking amazing! Yeah!" and Batholdi comes up with this idea of this giant statue of a giant woman made entirely of copper, holding a golden torch to represent liberty.
So Batholdi had a sit down with Congress. "The French people want to give you a giant statue. Like, GIANT, and whenever people come into the port of New York Harbor, the first thing they are going to see is, like, a 300 foot high statue." They said "Eh, we're good." Batholdi can't believe it. "Uh, I just want to give you guys the gift. Like, I'll make it, the French will pay for it, you don't have to do jackshit." Congress said "Here's the thing, you're French. The French are kinda pussies, and the French are kinda dicks, and the French are kinda not Americans."
So Batholdi goes back to France and was like "Fuck this. Fuck America. Whether they take it or not is their problem. My problem is I need to complete a 300 foot copper statue." So, by 1876, it's the 100 year anniversary of the United States, and all he has done is the arm and the torch. But the American people were like "Holy shit! THIS IS FUCKING GREAT!" They go, " I wonder what this entire statue is going to look like when it's done." So congress goes, "Alright, we will accept your gift."
Batholdi is over the moon. "Ah! This is so great! Thank you so much! Buuuutttt, we should probably talk about the pedestal." Congress was like "woah, woah, woah. What are you talking about, the pedestal?" Batholdi says "I need a pedestal to put my statue on." And the United States Congress says "Uhh, fuck no, I'm not paying for shit." Batholdi is furious. "I'm going through all this trouble, and you won't even give me a place to put my statue?!?" Congress says "That's fucking right!" So the thing is, Bartholdi is still building, and eventually the statue is done. It's just sitting here, because there's nowhere to put it!
It's around that time that an American named Joseph Pulitzer steps in and says "This is fucking crazy! We won't accept it? What is going on? All we have to do is give them a place to put it!" So Pulitzer mounts a totally new campaign. "Fuck the Congress. Forget the President. I think we should build this pedestal. If you agree, I want you to give some money. It doesn't have to be alot, even if you give a penny, I'll print your name in my newspaper." Then the American people step up. All over the country they are sending 5 cents, 10 cents, 50 cents. 120,000 people donated and Pulitzer is going "Yeah!" And eventually they have this pedestal built. The Statue of Liberty is unveiled to the American people with Batholdi on the torch balcony like "Look at this! Look at this fucking thing!"
Isn't that about the greatest telling of the Statue of Liberty you've ever heard? |
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