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This was a triumph
by Chris

previous entry: NoJoMo #29 - Power Dynamics

Physical Affection

12/03/2020

I saw this on Facebook. I wanted to share it:

Growing up in America is surreal.
Every tine little blip of physical affection is deemed as sexual interest.
Boys aren't allowed to hug each other because "that's gay."
Girls can't hold hands because "are they going out?"
And GOD FORBID a female friend hugs a male friend.

Having lived in the Netherlands, and reading up about shit like this, Canadians and Americans are starving.

I went to Japan for a school trip in 2012. I went to a high school there.
There were boys hugging, lounging on those blue gym floor mats, holding hands, trowing their arms around each other.
I was startled by how shocked I was.

This mentality of "if you're touching you must have sexual interest in the other person" is so fucking disgusting. Hug your friends. Hold hands with them. Touch their hands when you want to reassure them.


I agree with everything this post says, but somehow, I don't find myself trying to hold hands with my guy friends, or hugging them, simply because I read this post on Facebook. How would a society begin to normalize affection like this? Is it just a matter of waiting for the next generation to come around and make it normal? Are current generations where this isn't normal doomed to being affection starved?

previous entry: NoJoMo #29 - Power Dynamics

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The occasional man-hug is okay I suppose. Not sure I would wanna be holding hands while walking down the road though

[MarkStar|0 likes] [|reply]

That's definitely understandable, but I think this has more to do with a criticism on the overall perception surrounding romanticizing/sexualizing otherwise non-sexual affection. You and I live during a time where these types of gestures are seen that way, so it would naturally be uncomfortable to express that kind of affection with someone you're not romantically/sexually interested in (though I'm definitely a man-hugger with everyone who's comfortable with it).

[ChrisStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I hug my friends all the time. Used to hold my best friends hand. Not all of us are prudish

[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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