Failure

05/27/2009

Sometimes I feel like I am a failure as a mother. Like I need help with everything for the baby. It seams like I can't feed him, put him to sleep, or get him to sleep in his own bed without help. I don't even think I am producing enough milk to feed him at night. I don't need people to tell me what I am doing wrong, I already pretty much have the baby telling me what I am doing wrong. There are even days where I swear up and down that the baby hates me because all he does is cry all day long when I am around him and then when I hand him off he either calms down or falls asleep. Also I tried to get it so he would go to bed at a half way decent hour like 8:30ish but he just won't go to bed then either, I even try calming things down early but it doesn't work. He will also sometimes push at me like he is trying to push me away from him.

I don't know maybe the reason I am doing this rant is that it's my baby blues kicking in. It is so hard for me to ask for help when I am so used to doing things on my own. I have always dealt with things on my own for like my whole life and hardly ever ask for help. I have to remind myself a lot that there is no "I" in the word "team" and to include the baby's daddy in some of the baby activities and give myself a break.