My sister and her husband have been trying to get pregnant since at least 2004, that is when she lost her first baby.
She has had many miscarriages, and finally tried fertility treatments.
Turns out, of all the women in the world 2% have heart complications from the drug she was on. She, god bless her heart was in that 2%. One week ago today she thought she was having a heart attack.
Last night, she got her period. They are through...
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Today at 7:37am
There are a lot of you waiting to hear good news from us today. Sad news is, we don't have any. BFN, in the land of infertility means BIG FAT NEGATIVE.
See, we never thought 5 years ago, when we got our first positive pregnancy test in March of 2004 that we would be here - still childless today. But we are.
We just endured the roughest month of our life with infertility treatments, and sadly they did not work.
Yesterday, when the crampies started to set in, and I just got this feeling that things were not going our way we headed out to a late dinner. I just could not control my emotions because I feared the worst. It's like the night before Christmas, but in a bad way. When we arrived I headed straight for the bathroom and wanted to stay in the stall and never leave. Instead, I got up and splashed some cold water on my face, trying to get up the muster to go back to the table. It was then, that I stopped and heard Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella" playing. See, we really think that for the last 6 months, through this all, we have been getting signs that adoption is our answer. It could not have been any clearer.
So with this BIG FAT NEGATIVE pregnancy test today, we're gonna be okay. Surely we're sad, and we've gone through all of the emotions, but we have the faith that we will - one day - have a child, even if it's not biological.
We've got one week before the Bahamas, and we're gonna just take some time to ourselves. However, maybe for my birthday - in September - we'll start the paperwork.
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So, for now at least the prospect of having a biological child is gone. Now of course I have mixed feelings about this. Being adopted myself I know there must be a child out there just waiting for them. Really no child could be any luckier.
I know, they would never make an adopted child feel...less than....
I hope you know what I mean by that.
anyway, here is a pic of the moon tonight...a blood moon..
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