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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: This is gonna be the hardest thing that I have ever done....

next entry: Please Please Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To The Love Of My Life....

03/19/2012

I feel oh so very much better right now about all of this whole situation.

This might hurt, it's not safe. But I know that I've gotta make a change. I don't care if I break, at least I'll be feeling something. I don't wanna go through the motions. I don't wanna go one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, "What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?" No regrets, not this time. I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind. But in the meantime while I'm waiting for you babygirl, I am working on making myself a better and whole person. I'm. Not. Broken. Anymore. I think I'm finally feeling something. Cuz just okay is not enough.

Well that's what happens when you start listening to your heart irregardless of the consequences to it. If you realize that yeah my heart got beat up but I'm not dead, then it makes it easier to move beyond that and work on repairing yourself for when they come back into your life because then you're stronger and strength is appealing and magnetic and mysterious and love and all of the things that embody the core of who I am. I just forgot who I am for a while cuz I took the pain and let it enter me until there was no room for her anyways. ♥ ♥

previous entry: This is gonna be the hardest thing that I have ever done....

next entry: Please Please Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I have been through a lot recently I am on a really down spiral and usually me venting here helps it's not and I know being positive does sometimes so I am trying to atleast look at the negative things in a posative way.

[Sincerely apples|0 likes] [|reply]

i'm ok.. i'm sick so i can't be a good friend and consol her like i have before.. i'm just worried that jen's mom isn't going to get better..

[Lunar FairyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: you think THAT'S weird... they wont hire you if you have visible tats or facial piercings!

[st☆rlesš|0 likes] [|reply]

Business

[Bridgett|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: The movie was a disaster and I didn't like the way the writers took so many libertys in changing things. I agree they should have stuck more to what the book said then what they did and it may have been amazing if they had - but they didn't and the movie really leaves you confused about everything aside from who killed Susie and where .....

[this.is.me|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc - yes, I do like the Beatles

[TheHighlander|0 likes] [|reply]

Yeah. I forget sometimes not everyone uses the same slang as me!

[mo0se|0 likes] [|reply]

Aw, thanks girl! I can get you the layout if you'd like to use it! And if you're talking about what I think you were, I wouldn't consider it a good thing to be excited to get my ex if I have a boyfriend

[color my world.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: thank you, yes I wrote that. I wrote all the poems in my diary. I have been writing poetry for 20 years now.

[A RedSox Fan|0 likes] [|reply]

how i get my "anger" out.. is i draw.. and they didn't like what i drew.. so they told me the next day after saying to me "you are fine.. you will still have a job".. they told me i was dangerous to others and myself.. so again they fired me for my depression..

and a lot of companies do that .. my job at ICT - a girl got fired because she was pregnant.. she sued and won.. but nevertheless she was fired for it

[Lunar FairyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

ryn: no i didn't create it, i copied the html from some russian website

[Marina|0 likes] [|reply]

click on the player where it says crate my own or someting like that...

[†ara|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: This is gonna be the hardest thing that I have ever done....

next entry: Please Please Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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