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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: I hate this stuff.

next entry: Never again.

The Ultimate Government Coverup.


SuperSoldiers are real. Project Monarch is real. I am living proof.

The first thing that I ever felt with this was like something flew into my mouth, like a stone or a bug or something when I took a sharp breath. That night it felt like something slimy and gross like a spider or snail was crawling up my throat, and gagging me. I drank boiling hot tea cuz I was so scared. It popped whatever it was and this yellow goo crap came out of my mouth.
From that point on I was convinced that I had worms. I saw things. It was terrible. Second major thing that happened was some invisible ( yet could see what was happening on the outside ) of my neck wire thing came up and started strangling my neck. My best friend and one of our roommates saw it happening too. I was never so scared at that point.
They like to work in the dark for some reason.
So I always have had a light on after that.
I have two patches of skin that are circular inside my mouth. thats where it popped from and since then they have been moving farther and farther up to my cheekbones instead of down by my jaw where it started
If I didnt know better, Id say this thing is eating my brain. It went in right by the opening to my ears, and made a..Well Idk, but it hurt like no other, when it was on the bone. If I didnt know better Id say Im all twisted up. My bones, muscles, joints.
Twisted as in AROUND.
My septum has been deviated because of this to the point that it looks like I have a broken nose.
I havent told most people this, but..I know Im not breathing down the right tubing in my body. A few months ago, I gagged myself to the point that I pushed back/down the candle wick like things in my throat and for the first time in ages, I was able to breathe correctly. It was a beautiful day. Not anymore.
its like they are able to fool you into thinking what you are looking at is where its supposed to be. its not.
honestly im not sure anymore if i have a lot of time left in this world.
that is what happened to me. its a very long story, but people need to know what is happening to them. I see everyone on these groups talking about this symptom and that symptom. I HAD THOSE SYMPTOMS 4-6 years ago!

Okay well I was asked to make this post. Hi everyone. I really am scared to do this but I hope that maybe someone else has the same symptoms or part of them. I will just post what I post and I hope that you can follow along. I know that I am dying. Any second really but if I can help at least one person to know that they are not alone then it was worth it. Keep the faith. Jesus is real. Much more powerful then these things. Also my best friend and fiancee have lived together 2 years and I have no idea where she is but we both have been suffering from this. I am scared but I am tired of being silent. IT IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES. These are just a part of my symptoms.
I had graves disease and had to have my thyroid removed. Tenderness around throat? How can I make anyone understand......My throat has been THINNED. like.......cut. frankly. I have caught doctors hiding things from us and lying to my face. They are told not to treat us.
if i reach down there i feel something like a flap that spans the width of what is left of my throat. ther e is no hole in the back of my throat anymore, only a wall.
when I swallow, i feel it in the back of my head. for years i had the feeling of being pricked like with needles. they said i had fibromyalgia.
felt like spider webs all over my face, nothing there. hearing weird noises in my ears, nothing there. i felt muscles being cut. but when they latchied onto my shoulder or collar bones, i screamed. literally. i am nothing more then a lab rat now. society deems me worthless, so is that not how we get treated? you would never imagine what has happened to me and my girl in the past 2 years and in the past 6 months? bizarre things. I think im focusing on the wrong things.
Im also a Christian if you cared to know.
i felt them come into my jaw and spine. i feel them constantly. trying to raise my eyebrows even feel them in my forehead. you can see a brown line about an inch wide is how it started on my forehead when it first went up there. now my whole forehead has been taken over. my face. my actual eyeballs are loose. i can feel little things dart up my spine and into my head. frankly, this thing has moved upand up and up, and it doesnt even where you see the back of my head its not where it should be. they create some thick layers of skin.
i probably sound nuts. but its true.
THOSE LOOK LIKE THE BEADS THAT I FEEL. LIKE WITH YOUR FINGERS you can feel these ball/beadlike things in my body, around my arms. in my sides, EVERYWHERE.
they feel like little balls or beads to the touch.
or maybe thats not what that is. but it startled me.
no doctors will help me. i had one ask me if i swallowed METAL. like rods of it cuz there was so much metal in my midsection. which is now hard up thru my chest like a bone or metal.
i have a thick layers of skin around my neck like a collar. its how it moved up. felt like things exploding in my stomach, felt like hot acid boiling every night. then id feel even the seat through my back in the car. felt like hairs all down my back. thing is i chopped my hair off when i got sickest. thankfully now its starting to grow back. but long hair......yeah.
I have not even started on how they bored thru my throat they are thick and wide and painful and i can reach into my mouth and feel them with my own fingers. This is madness. and yet we have pictures and videos of it as it progressed. we caught these terrible monsters or wires or whatever on video. in my mouth. its terrible.
Frankly this has moved up and up and up like fingers and metal and ball/beadlike things and I cant take it anymore. the part that makes it worse is that i can still walk and run but from the neck up am a monster from these things, tho they ARE all OVER my body. I need help like no other. I feel like I am being turned into a metal monster. I am so scared.

People keep telling me that I SHOULDNT tell people what is happening to them, and just let them think they have just worms. I dont know how to do that. God wouldnt have let me go thru the wacky towns, the walmart that was set up for me LITERALLY, the weird people following us and so much more. I dont know how to believe that He would let me see the truth just to keep it to myself. I am being TORTURED daily by these things. They could have terminated me already if not for the power of Jesus Christ. Every day I deal and struggle with fear, and doubt and cry my eyes out because shes gone and I dont wanna die here with unfinished business. BUT..I still believe. I know. That God is in control. Its not JUST people who did drugs and were drunks like i did and was that are getting this. Gods PEOPLE. His CHOSEN are getting this. I am chosen as well but thats a different story. There may only be a million of us so far and maybe my whole life WAS a plant with everyone in it being put there on purpose. I dont care. JESUS IS LORD. And I have to believe, no I know that His plan for me is more then what I allowed it to be for so long. But I am awake now. Awake and alive and sick as a dog. Struck down but not destroyed. think ill make some of this my status. they can do their dirty work from underground and try to enslave this world, but Jesus has already won. how can i keep silent? with whats already happened to me i know the price that i will pay for telling the truth and not shutting up. i know i cant fight this alone. im not arrogant about it at all, in fact I feel really inadaquete. idk what He wants me to do, but I am trying to prepare myself NOW so that when He calls? I will be ready to go to battle. Because He has already won the war.
Jesus has a plan for me to help people. I always knew that. Idk. Maybe my gifts. They go after those with gifts too. Some call it magic. Others, many other names I guess. Im no magician. I wa sborn with my abilities. Long story again.
I stopped using them altogether after I became involved deeply in the occult.
I was able to touch someone and tell them things about themselves that I never knew. I didnt always have to touch them but it helps. I have done it thousands of miles away over the computer years ago. I used to be able to take peoples physical pain away.
My hands. I saw Angels when I was a child. But I also saw ghosts and demons and I let that part overcome the gift of sight so I no longer see the Angels. But I can feel them.
Other gifts too. But my point is I let the devil use them for evil and started casting spells, doing witchcraft. I could even make a thunderstorm if I wanted to. I caused pain where I was meant to cause light and love. I brought darkness to lives Im sure. Tho my heart only ever wanted to be loved.
you cant get rid of this illness without Jesus its the only way because they are trying to turn us into cyborgs. Some can just be terminated. Some wil be tortured mentally physically or both, like me.
Its the devils master plan. What bigger laugh coudl Lucifer have then to take those chosen by God to be his warriors, and destroy their lives to the point that they turn away from God and he gets them to join his army in the apocolypse. That is what this is. There is only ways to make them back off, ther eis no cure. Jesus is the only way, for Him to give someone a miracle.

It starts with mind conrol and programming. They are underground. They control people. Brain mapping, nanotechnology, mind control. It is all real. It is all happening. And we are the ones being tested.
There was a guy that approached me
i still have the convo.
he said that he used to work for the government here but now he is hiding doing research in london
he told me about the government brain worm long before these ppl. thats how i found dr. valinsky.
he said that i am the longest living documented person alive that has made it this long. he said people usually die within 14 weeks of activation.
ive made it over 2 years being mind controlled and programmed.

Walmart is part of their organization yes. I just meant that it was part of the setup that was laid out for me when I discovered the truth and contacted every single major newspaper in this country about it, as well as spread it all over their facebook walls. Yeah Im not doing that again.

Like I said it is about mind control and programming real people and copying us so to speak. They want control, and there are about a million or so of us documented so far that already have had speakers in our ears, a chip in our eye, different things happened to some of us h aving to do with the Illuminati. It is a very complicated thing, these things.

Manufactured straight in the pit of hell.
From it I should say.
Idc what people think, like I said they want to make us all slaves. Jesus is the only way out.

You do realize that some of us cant die right?
Unless by a gun. Thats why they are trying to take our guns. So we cant kill ourselves.
Im saying the ones that have been programmed, we cant die in normal ways.
If there is a normal way ha.
I tried 17 times literally to kill myself, obviously unsucsessfully. I tried to sell my soul for love. My girl appeared shortly afterwards. But I believe that Jesus has my soul. But I have lost a lot of my empathy. I still have my gifts. But havent used them much in a long time.
I have always been able to tell people things about themselves that I had no way of knowing.
I used to be able to take people's pain away.
I have always seen things that others cant.
I may have been chosen by God, but I was also chosen by the enemy.
When I started to do the right thing, they kept saying they were listening, and they followed us. They even set up a whole walmart to make me lose my mind and ended up in a fake psych ward. Even the doc that gave me pills doesnt exist. He gave me meds for parkinsons and pain meds for side effects from their torture.
I am torutred every day. That is what this is. The wires cut like razor blades. Its not a joke. as you well know.
My poor ears. My throat. Its all coming down. Even in my head. Huge dents that werent there before.

I know a lot of people.
I think I am one of those people.
I went into the hospital, and they drugged me and wouldnt let me wake up, except to sign papers then immeditaly drug me again. My fiancee was t here telling them to stop and they wouldnt.
I have this thing that has been growing in my body. We showed video and pics to the doctors on the tablet and not 5 minutes later it got stolen from the hospital room.
I have a brand that is a check mark on my arm that I do not know where it came from but was in the last year.

I havent been able to really feel...For a very long time. My memories of my childhood are gone. I see them only because I remember videos of them my parents kept, tons and tons to remind me. I see it in pictures like snapshots. But that is all. No memory of it. My life, I know the bad I have done and I remember the peace from Jesus that I am so desperately seeking His face for every day. I get moments when I feel okay, but I..Remember things that I convinced myself were just manufactured in my head. Things people that I have known and trusted my whole life have done to me. I am nothing but a slave to them.
I was made for more. I almost have my degree in Psychology, I am not insane. I am afraid that my whole life and the people in it have just been a setup. I dont care about the being followed and freaky tests they put me through. I am being TORTURED every day in my body from this. I need to know what is happening.

I havent felt...Alive.....Since 2011

I stayed silent for too long. They even set up a whole walmart just to trap and test me. Went to a fake psych ward where the doc is not even real, and he gave me meds for parkinsons which i dont have and pain meds for the side effecs of bodily torture. it was horrible.
they tormented me there. i cant even describe it.

I was born to be a warrior for Him. I have always had un natural strength if I can put it that way. Like physically.

Idk where it comes from. It takes 6-9 grown men to hold me down. Idk. I feel Him and I am begging Him to do something, to move.
Bottom line? What they are is a government worm that is part of their control program. They are trying to enslave all of us.
Its why JFK why murdered. It is the truth and a lot of people will wait till its too late and then wonder why someone didnt tell them. The signs have been there for years.
This things are trying to copy us.
To mimic our DNA.
I dont want to be a clone. Our bodies and our hearts were made for more then to be turned into mindless robotic soldiers for the Apocolypse army.
I said Jesus please HEAL my eyes
after that BOOM it was like iw as in the x files and twilight zone all at once
saw ppl around me, waiting to see if i was able to see them, they made the noises that ive hated my whole life, they followed us
we were mentally tormented by them. but they were REAL PEOPLE doing this.
The government/Illuminati is everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
Thank God Jesus is powerful
They are going after the empaths and Christians. Those with gifts and supernatural abilites they want to turn them evil
Its not a joke. We are targeted.
Which means that in Gods eyes we are chosen.
What we do with it is up to us.
Go hide and run away like I did for 13 years. Or stand up and face and spaek the truth no matter what happens
But if you do that, be prepared to lose everyone and everything. Even your life.

i am so infested. more then anyone ive ever talked to. no one seems to have it where i do
it makes me feel alone in some ways
everyone has the symptoms that i had 3 or 4 YEARS ago
everyone in the forums. the probs they have i had them that long ago
and ignored them
even hearing the tones in my ear
my right ear . changing tones.
they blew in my ear once.
made the hannibal lector sound, no one was there.
im not making this up.
its the illuiminati
the government. same thing.
the devil is on the loose
walmart. dennys.
lots of fast food chains, but those two places are where we encountered ' them '
the people that watched an followed us
im being dead serious
i talked too much about this
to anyone who would listen.
bad idea
they ruined my life.
my girl is gone. taken.
love of my life.
but yeah. hearing tones. blowing in ear. speakers. and no im not kidding.
limbs being thrown without permission like jerking violently
lots of other things
the eye
theres a microchip. they see everything. they love to watch us have sex and in the shower
im dead serious
they set up a whole damn town just to trap us. it was the most horrible experience of our lives cept what im going thru physically
Yes i have.
very extensively.
They are posessed. Working for the government/illuminati.
I know.
robin from the forum has it too
they said ' get out ' to her one time in her speakers in her ear
this is real
Jesus is the only way out.
There is nothing that we can do except for try to get rid of them using the protocols and formulas to keep ourselves as healthy as possible. As I said, Jesus Christ is the only way out of this, by recieving a miracle. I believe that with all of my mind soul and heart.
But it is good to be informed.
Honestly, every word of what I sent you is true, so I am quite sure that they have me monitored still.
Everyone that I knew, their phones started being tracked and you would hear the clickclick noises.
It was nuts. My fiancee and I shared a phone when mine first broke before they took her away and it happened to hers to the point that they hacked her credit card, well one of them based on her phone. They got her voice. It was terrible.
Worst and best days of my life. I miss her every day and I hope that she will be safe and come back to me.
this is real
Jesus is the only way out.

previous entry: I hate this stuff.

next entry: Never again.


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