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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: Ugh.

next entry: Kids.

i just had a surreal experience.

02/15/2022

i just had a surreal experience. just tried one last time. i told my mom about prophecies, i told her with tears in my eyes how i always felt so different, didnt wanna be with kids my own age, youd find me in the room where the adults were at every function, talking with them. i could take ppls pain away with hands, i was strangely strong, GIVEN TO ME BY MY FATHER IN HEAVEN. i took 5 minutes to talk to her from my HEART about this and had tears in my eyes.

wanna know what she said?

''' Trish I think you think too much, do you ever start out your day positive? '''

AND THEN

its okay now. i went outside and smoke a cig, and looked at a bird flying around and the leaves on the ground. came back inside and stood a few feet from mymom and just smiled at her. thats all. smiled. and she waved. aww

 

Ill try again. I have to remember the greater good of ALL when I react to people

not just my own pain...........I wanted to be a hands on energy healer. Because that is what I am. i channeled it into massage therapy for a while reflexology kinesology reiki. i COMBINED THEM into a massage from heaven. people melt when i touch them and the love heals the wounds. its how ive always been but i hid for 20 years because of the backlash

hence why i think i have failed.

cuz i hid my light. and let ppl walk on me.............Linda trained me since i was 10 years old. Its not about training i know how to do it

it comes from WITHIN

AND without.

I cant ask you to understand, but just know we all make mistakes and I have to live with mine every second of every day and night, even in my dreams, I am tormented. I am taking responsibility for things that I did wrong, and things others did wrong. I put myself in places i had no business being but it was out of pain. So much pain. And, for me? Thats no excuse either.

Linda died. shed never touched a medicine cept herbs that i am aware of.

in 60 years

in hospital told her she had 4th stage terminal liver cancer and injected her with blood thinners. she was never sick. she went into doc only cuz she was so TIRED

and thats what they told her

if there was ever someone like God on this earth to me it was her

never in 35 years did i see her get angry...people like that werent worthy of this planet

they were better...........I strive to be like that.

previous entry: Ugh.

next entry: Kids.

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