So last night I said that I would write you today and so here it is. I was saying that it scares me ( us ) because I am so scared of letting my heart go into the hands of anyone else after what I have been through and yet I have longed all my life for someone like you. The fact that you love me back is so incredible to me. Every touch by you rocks me on so many levels. Your kinda love, The kinda love we would have together would be all consuming and completely what other people would indeed call dangerous or toxic or whatever at least the kinky parts, because I already know we would take it too far in the eyes of this stupid planet. I dont care but I need to make sure you dont think it is, because the things I wanna do to you and let you to do me are fucking twisted as we both already know but it is such a turn on. Maybe thats what i like about it.
And on top of it, see I know its the bad time of the month for me, but when that is over soon, if I let you actually make me have an orgasm, my personality and heart is literally going to make me be bonded to you like, as if we are ONE. And that kinda surrender I cant just walk away from because if I actually let it happen, it means I am yours forever, unless you walk away. I choose you as my one person, my one special girl to be mine, though Im not sure how much of a choice I really had because I tried like hell to fight it. I keep saying I dont wanna hurt you, but I dont want you to hurt me either if I am being honest I am the forever kinda love and you need to be sure that is what you want and are in for because I am being up front and honest with you right now. I do not fall in love unless I plan on it being forever. I have been that way even as a teenager. My soul is made for anchoring to one person for life and obviously its not worked out that way as of yet but it doesnt stop who I am.
I love you, Skylyn. So much it makes me ache. Like literally when you kiss me, or touch me, it makes me core MELT. If I let myself need you, I might just be lost forever. In all the best ways.
So now you know what I was thinking. I wish my mouth was as expressive as my fingers. HA.
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