I should be asleep. Instead I'm awake feeling dread.
I'm trying to do everything and feeling like I'm doing nothing and failing all at once. It also doesn't help that even though I live with my littles father, and we are in a relationship. I feel like a single parent because getting him to do ANYTHING is like pulling teeth. And how he acts is driving me mental!
Example, last night he got pissed because what I made for dinner had cream of mushroom soup in it. " I'm not going to eat that. I haven't eaten in 24 hours and looks like I'm not going to" first off, fuck off. Second, seriously? You're going to be 32 next month and you are acting like its MY responsibility to always feed you. Make sure you're all taken care of? I'm the one up with the baby all day. I hardly get to eat. You through a fit if I ask you to watch the baby, your baby so I can shower. But anything that cuts into your time... oh heavens no 🙄.
Then he got bitchy with me about the amount of food the baby was eating. He clearly thinks the little is eating too much. How do you think the kid will grow?! The baby wakes up at night cause it's hungry. But what do I know? I only spend every single day with it. He doesn't.
Then the bibs.. he has to change the littles bib the SECOND its dirty or just leaves one off all together. Wtf! You don't do laundry and babys drool / spit up. Then telling me that all bibs suck. Then go buy new ones! Like seriously! Wtf do you want? You have never taken a whole day and watched the baby. Given her a bath, taken her out on your own without me. His mother complains she doesn't see the baby enough. He can bring her over there. I'm not a fan of his mother because clearly she wiped his ass till the day he moved out. So I'd rather not go, I'd actually rather not have my child there at all.
It's just so defeating and degrading. Like hello? I have told him I need a break and he tells me I'm doing good and to relax. But the next breath it's all that. It's stressing me out on top of everything else.