That isn't my world... | 01/20/2009 |
 WhEn PuSh CoMeS tO sHoVe
All right, I really need to breathe. So my friend (Brittany) and I are planning on going Prom dress shopping sometime this week or maybe next week depending if I work Monday or not. At the same time I am going to go car shopping so I can get out of my car which just plans on ruining me. I do not know what to do, because I want to go prom dress shopping, but I would feel bad abandoning my mom when we were going to go into Omaha and stuff today if the insurance company or a bank will approve a loan. I will probably just call home, and leave a message saying 'Hey, I am going into Fremont to look at dresses.' I obviously cannot buy anything, I just want to look with someone besides my mom, you know?
On another note, I plan on getting a second job as soon as I get myself a different car. I am thinking of applying at Burger King or Godfather's and of course I'll send in an application to Hastings online, just in case. I don't want to work too much more, no more than 6 days a week and just an extra 15 hours or so a week. So that will only be like 35 hours a week between my two jobs. I really want the extra money and I know I can do it.
With the car I do still owe my parents like 1000, but they said to just forget about that for now. They are on board with me getting a new car, which is kind of strange, but it really stresses me out. My car right now, and I think they see that, especially my mom, and she really doesn't want that for me. So they are willing to compromise, and I mean I will pay the car payment. I have to. There is no other way around it.
Now, with prom dresses. I told my mom and I would pay for half of it, because I hate having my parents spend money on me. I really do, and I can't really afford the whole thing so I told my mom that if they were going to pay for it, I don't want them to pay for the whole thing, I want to pay for half. I suppose that sounds selfish, because I am having my parents pay half, but I really don't want them to pay for the whole thing because I would just feel bad and I cannot afford the whole thing. So I am gonna go into town tonight to go to Black Tie & White Satin and look at dresses for a bit, leave a message at home and tell my mom to call me if the bank or insurance approves a loan. There is always Thursday we can go into Omaha, and of course if she wants me to come home and to say I am sorry for changing plans.
With prom, for the past oh like 2 hours I have been brewing over asking Brian to prom. I mean, I am always so scared and, and, I don't want him to say no. But I don't want him to say yes out of pity either. My friends told me they will kill me if I don't ask, because I have to ask. I know I should ask, and I want to ask. I want to go to prom with him. It is just... oh man I don't know. I am always so scared and I wish I wasn't. So I am going to do it, as long as none of the bad guys are around him.... See, I'm hoping I can catch him at the end of the day without any of the stupid guys around, or even tomorrow in History class and hopefully Jeff or Peter or Andy won't be in there and I can ask him then. I just... I just wish he would ask me. But what am I saying? That isn't my world, and I'm just not that girl.
So yeah, that is basically it. Just normal teenage drama. I can't wait to go and get job applications because I am terrified of people and situations like that. It will be SO much fun. Like seriously.  Well have fun, I need to find something else to distract me for the next half hour... and Haylee isn't on... *glares at* so...yeah.
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