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What Dreams May Come
by Utter Silence

previous entry: Island of Misfit Toys

next entry: Words

Revelation...maybe?

12/27/2008



Smile...

All right, so I am working like a 12 hour shift today at work. Well actually, I am writing this at 3am in bed, but I cannot get on internet…. So it is just gonna be in WORD until I get to go on my first break tomorrow. I really should get an hour break tomorrow… but see I come in at 11:30 instead of 11… so it is (technically) a 11 and a half hour shift… but see… I am not the fastest lobby person so I will probably still be there at midnight. Oh well… a break is a break, right.

Anyway, this had a person besides just rambling. So I got home tonight, and I actually left like 2 hours early cause we were SO SLOW and so my supervisor let me leave, because I was going to close. Off topic again… so I got home. And I decided to channel surf tonight instead of just popping in Primeval and watching that. Well the last thing I watched was Tru Confessions a Disney Channel movie and stuff like that. And it hit me. I really… oh how should I put this… I appreciated the movie for its message. It was not the greatest movie but it was a good movie. I didn’t just sit mindlessly and watched it. Every scene and every aspect I just analyzed it. I picked it apart and looked at each part as its own entity and then pieced it back together again while I watched it.

I don’t know. I am just weird like that. But this isn’t the first time. And my mind wandered off to the story that I am writing. Most of my original stories that I write have magic in them. The people are ‘super’-people for a lack of better term. Yeah, I will spin it is so it is different in a sense. But if you boil it down to the core that is basically what it is. People with superpowers or people with magic… people that are special. And I realized something.

I used magic and powers as a crutch… an excuse. If my characters had magic or powers (I will just refer to it as magic from now on… cause well… I am lazy.) then they were more original. Why make carve out multi-dimensional personalities when they are already special with their magic? I didn’t need to go through all that trouble when they were already their own little separate entities because of their magic. I could contradict myself in characters because… hey… some evil being took over them. Magic and powers was – easy.

I had to have magic, because I always did. I love the idea that people can be more than just people. I think I tried once… a few years back to write a story – a pure story – without magic. It failed, miserably… like a serious crash and burn. I love that idea… but it held me back. I focused so much on that aspect of the story that I failed to really, truly look at my characters. I would tell their stories, and I even did it first-person, but I was not really projecting the characters. I was not defining them and carving out their own little niches, because it wasn’t necessary.

Does that make sense? I really hope it does, because there is no other way that I can explain it. But I realized today while I was watching that movie that this story, the one I am writing now, it is truly unique. I really think it is the best I’ve ever done. The characters are so real. To me they are… I mean they might not be to someone else, but to me they are. They have backstories, and histories and a future…all planned out. They have emotions that they react to and fight with and hide. They really look at each other and make their judgments and act like humans. And they go through denial and rejection and face the same things that everyone faces.

The story that I am writing now is the first thing that has held my attention as a writer. It has not taken me months to write a chapter or two. I am trying to shy away from the angst. Yeah, I love going onto fanfiction.net or fictionpress and reading through some angst stories. Its corny and campy and so…not real… but sometimes I want that escape. I really see this story and it is weird cause it is set in the 1860s… so you would think it would be harder, because I know jack squat about that time period.

And I suppose there is still magic in the story. But it is not your Harry Potter, or Twilight or Heroes kinda magic. It is… different. I am not gonna say anymore about it. In fact this is all really a ramble about a story I will probably never post online. The chance that I will ever become a real writer are slim, but in the off-chance that I will… I would like to keep my stories… mine.

I have always… always… always had issues translating what I see and feel in my mind into the real world. I can have this entire story and world in my head, but when I try to write it down it sounds like crap. I try to draw/paint it out and it looks like crap. The only thing that I notice when I write, and when I think about my stories is that I see everything like a movie. That is probably innovation’s fault because I grew up on movies and TV. But my scenes play out like movies and tv shows in my head. Is that weird?

But back to the thing with the movie and my story. I realized that they are both just about people. There is no hidden agenda… just people living their lives. There really is nothing special about it. Yes the girl’s brother is mentally challenged, but is that really special. It is not the cheesy, campy, tweeny drama of movies normally shown on Disney Channel. Halloweentown series for instance is like that… I love it to death but I even see that. It was just down-to-earth and normal. Maybe that is why it made me think of my story.

I don’t know what. What does this say about me as a writer? I mean, I am only 17… and I am sure I have a lot of improving. That is why I cannot wait to get to college, because I really really want to take a creative writing class… and sadly I have to wait till college because my school fired our second English teacher and thus we have no English electives now. Sad, isn’t it? I know everyone grows and changes, but is this really something that should be note-worthy, is it something that really deserves 1k words of rambling and explaining? I don’t know. I made multi-dimensional characters and I am straying from my normal writing… a lot. What does that have to say?

UPDATE
And actually I am working this 12 hour shift and then tomorrow I am working like an 11 hour shift... so it shall just be fun...fun...fun. But I am getting overtime so it is all right.

previous entry: Island of Misfit Toys

next entry: Words

0 likes, 2 comments

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Hmm.I-love-Halloweentown-too!<3

You-are-a-good-writer,Rachee!

But-I-get-what-you-mean.A-lot-of-times-I-feel-as-if-my-stories-are-lacking.-shrugs-

[~shinelikestars.|0 likes] [|reply]

Rachee has been enlightened. You have more of a writer in you than you think. You sound like a writing teacher.

[Moonsie|0 likes] [|reply]

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