A funeral and another dream starring Karen and Jonathan +Q's

11/29/2012

After 3 hours of sleep, I'm up at 6 45AM. I didnt have to get up till 8:30 but my body does this all the time...when I have something very important to do, my body will wake me up a few hours before I have to be up.

Today will be the funeral for my cousin Larry. This is going to be both dificult and awkward. It will be dificult because it is a funeral. It will be awkward cause there will be cousins I have not seen in 10-20 years. One spacific cousin, my cousin David, the Nephew of Larry, he's the guy who in hs into college we were really good friends till the day he stole 400 dollars from my room and that was the end of our friendship. He finally admitted to it after lying to both myself and his mother. His mother believed me over her own son. How sad is that? After the funeral we'll go back to the mother of Larry, who's in an old person nice apartment building to sit Shiva. (jewish custome suppose to be 7 days, she's only sitting for the day)
RIP Larry

***

Yesterday morning I woke up with a grin... why? well, I'm pretty sure you know why. I hadanother dream about Karen. Here is what I wrote to her yesterday morning...


(I hope I'm not overwelming you )
Another morning where I woke up with that grin on my face that you know so well.

I had another dream about you. Another dream where I could see you and Karen, just like the last dream, I can honestly say, you are beautiful.

You were wearing a light green-grayish sweater with jeans and that glowing smile.

This dream was similar to the last dream, as I was at a party, however, it was at “your parent’s house” It was a spring day, the sun was shining, and the grass and the leaves of the trees were like a florescent dark green…I guess. Anyways, a bunch of people were playing on the side of “your parents house” (which was a light gray color) some were hanging out lounging around on chairs and others playing Frisbee and other such games.

We were standing next to the house, facing away from it watching everyone else. You asked me if I would be ok and I said ya. And you went off to talk to other people.
I saw some guy get out of a swiveling chair and it looked fun so I went over and sat in it, put my head phones on and spun around a few times just listening to my music. When I got bored of that and realized I was at a party and should probably socialize, I took the head phones off and looked around and there was only a few people left in the yard. You came over to me with a smile, telling me that everyone went inside. You took my hands in yours and helped me up out of the chair. Then we walked to the side of the house where there was a set of stairs going down that was parallel to the house and we were holding hands as we walked down but then the stairs turns and it got very narrow you asked me if I was ok, I said I didn’t like this, you said you didn’t care for it either but to hold on, you took one of my hands and put it on your shoulder and left your hand on mine on your shoulder as we walked down the rest of the stairs.

We walked into a finished basement where there was probably a few round tables that would seat maybe 8 people. (I only saw the one that we ended up sitting at) you brought me over to a table and there was a bunch of guys at it. We sat down and your quiet side came out. You didn’t say anything to anyone else and except for you “stretching” your arms forward and under the table you found my hand on my knee and you gentlely squeezed it before moving your hands back to your own lap.

At some point your father came over and said something “dirty” I was laughing, partially cause what he said was funny and partially cause I was embarrassed. You told him that “Jonathan can be that way too sometimes you know, when he’s on the computer…” you were talking fast, almost as if you were trying to convince him of something. And I was looking at you with my grin and then… I woke up.

Karen, you are beautiful and I cant wait to be with you again

***
Now, the night before, she had sent me the following text-email as I was waiting for her phone call...
"Not in a talking mood tonight. Too much on my mind. Love you and good night"
this both made me sad and smile at the same time. Sad that something was bothering her enough that she didnt want to talk to me and smiled cause she wrote to me un-provoked, that she loves me.

I wrote back... no matter time if u need to talk, I'm here love u goodnight sweetdrems
and when I woke up I sent another that read...Zelda, hope u found magic potion I left for u in u'r dream I-L <3 V E-U

Since I didnt hear from her I also decided to call her as she was driving to work. She did not answer the phone so in my head I was trying to think what to say. I kept deleting my message and doing another till I figured out what I would say...I sang the song "everything I do, I do it for you" When I asked her about it last night. She said that she loved it and it made her smile.

Now...the night before I was talking on the phone to a fellow blooper *waves* and from the coonversation, I had 3 q's for Karen.
1. what her bra size was. I didnt actually know but I asked her and she told me that she's a 34C However, I quickly realized that since I have nothing to compare it to, I dont know if that would be considered big or normal for her small frame but to me, when I got to touch them that night, they felt perfect to her body.

2. my bloop friend...we'll call her Jen cause I dont know if she would want people to know who I'm talking about. Well Jen was talking about her X hmm we'll call him John, and she had said that when they first met that he "hid" things and as time passes, they would both see -reveal flaws. I know this is normal in a relationship. you want to put your best foot forward and as you get to know the person, you slowly let your hair down.
I thought to myself, I wonder if there is anything I'm hiding from Karen either conciously or unconciously cause I dont want to hide anything from her. I dont mean the skellitons in the closet. Everyone has those locked up in a deadbult with chanes which the keys were thrown away and the key hole was destroyed. I could not think of a single thing. Karen and I have always been extremely opened and honest and we can say anything to each other. So I told her that I was talking to a bloop friend and of her x bf and I asked Karen if there is anything that she is hiding from me like that. I realized after the fact that it is a pretty stupid question. If she is hiding something, she's not going to tell me. but I asked her like this...
"you can say yes or no, or you dont even have to say that much, but I was wondering if there is anything you can think of that you are hiding." she goes "hmmm noooo" (stretching cause she was trying to think) "but if I do, I will let you know"

3. Jen grew up in a dificult situation. At one point, she was living in a motell. She met her x bf at this time and she told me that John told her that she is going to "save" her. Well, Jen didnt like this idea of being saved and told him. This got me thinking cause I tell Karen that I am going to save her. Sometimes I sing to her the Bon Jovi song "superman" "I wish that I, was your superman, tonight" I wondered if this bothered Karen. If it did, I would stop. So I asked Karen about this.
"no, it doesnt bother me"
J: good, cause I'm going to save you and Moagie" (her dog)
she giggled with a grin.

I love that woman. She always puts a grin on my face (and she knows when I do as I know when she does) and she puts butterflies in my tummy.