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an empty frame.'s Diary
by an empty frame.

previous entry: I'm in love with something real.

next entry: Fucked up and loving it (warning: moderate-heavy S&m)

Submissive sluts

03/03/2010

I've been stupidly depressed lately but had an amazing weekend. Luke fisted me, which I've always fucking wanted, aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That was after about five hours of fucking in different positions and such so I guess you could say I had more than enough preparation. lol. I was so amazed when he was doing it we had to turn around so I could watch in the mirror. And I'm still like, "ZOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FISTED ME." He's like, "uhuh, yep, ok, shut up about it now."

Uhh... the ... err... I can't remember if I've mentioned that I've adopted a sub? I don't really know... he considers himself my slave and I suppose he is because I just make him do stupid shit like suck his own cock and things but I don't let him stick around for more than an hour and since I've moved back with Luke I don't really want him staying here longer than like half an hour, long enough for him to update me on tasks he's done that I've assigned him, and for me to slap him around a bit... Aaaanyway, he's been denied orgasms and masturbating rights for a week now, and I'm well on the way to convincing him that he doesn't have a cock at all anymore. He has a couple more days until he's allowed to touch himself again and I'm planning on having him stay over for about five hours and draw it out for as long as possible while watching his desperation and making him beg. Muahahahaa. Luke is simply delighted by the fact that I've found myself a toy and secretly I think he's jealous that this little freak is so obedient while I am constantly fucking up HIS orders. lol. But then again, this one isn't nearly as much of a pain slut as I am, and that simply wouldn't do for him.

Seriously though... I am constantly fucking up the tasks he sets for me... I hate it. I get so worked up about it, too... Like, really upset, way more upset than he wants me to be. I'll come to him all teary because I didn't do this or that and he's like wtf Aaron it doesn't matter!! C'mere stoopidface. I'm like, *cry* I just wanna be good. It's true goddammit he doesn't really care if I'm good or not because he knows I have a lot on my plate as it is but I just want to serve him so badly that when I don't do it perfectly I freak out!!! And everything HAS TO BE PERFECT. Ugh. I think I'm getting OCD or some shit.

previous entry: I'm in love with something real.

next entry: Fucked up and loving it (warning: moderate-heavy S&m)

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