Dear S*******,
I don't have any money, so I cannot give you anything more than my presence and my thoughts. I hope it's worth something.
Happy birthday.
It was easier when you were little. To do what I thought was best, to give you little trinkets, to smile at you and you were happy. I tried my best to tell you what I should and no more, listen when I could, but I'm sure I screwed up sometimes and said more than I should and I know I couldn't be around enough. I hope you forgive me for it.
But you're too old now for thoughtless junk, and old enough to know your own mind. What I think is best for you doesn't matter anymore. What do you need from me that I can actually do? Who are you growing into?
Because you're growing up, I'm going to tell you some things that are true, even though we as a culture have made a gentleman's agreement to pretend they aren't.
1) You are right, and how you are being treated is ridiculous. A hundred years ago, you'd have a job by now. Two hundred years ago, you'd be married and having children. But the world has decided that until your brain finishes growing, you're incapable of making a reasonable choice for yourself, and it'll be another ten years before most people grant you the assumption of a brain. It's completely wrong, and trying not to kill them will be the hardest thing you'll ever do.
2) School is mostly stupid. It's job is to train you to ask permission before thinking, and to stick to a task you hate until the bell rings, so that you are a more productive factory/cubicle drone. It isn't necessary for you to graduate highschool, not to speak of college, for you to survive and even thrive. However, the highschool diploma makes things *easier*. It's a lot more difficult to coast by without it. You have to know where you're going, what you want, and you need to work a whole lot harder. And there's some fun things to do, and some interesting things to learn, if you can sift through all the BS, that makes it worth it. Highschool is easier.
Don't rebel just to rebel. Have a purpose. If you're going to break the rules, think about it. Why are you doing it? How are you doing it? If you're not going to put thought into it, it's just easier to do what's expected of you. It's still your choice. You don't have to misbehave to prove that you aren't being controlled. Nobody can make you do anything, not school, not your parents. It's always, always your choice in the end. Make the choice that it right for you, not just the one that pisses people off.
I believe in you. You're smarter than you think. You're good at a bunch of things. You're quick and you're artistic, and you're very clever with math when someone explains it to you properly. Whatever you decide you want to do, I know you can do it.
I love you. I love you when I can't see you. I love you when you're being a brat. There's nothing you can do that will make me love you less, or be less proud of you.
And I am proud of you. You're a wonderful person, and you're growing into man worth knowing.
If you want to mail me, my address is ********
If you need to talk, ***-***-****. I'll be the best ear I can.
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"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."
-- Samuel Beckett
"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway."
-- Emory Austin
"Nothing is your own except the few cubic centimeters inside your skull."
-- George Orwell
"Don Juan assured me that in order to accomplish the feat of making myself miserable I had to work in the most intense fashion, and that it was absurd. I had now realized I could work just the same in making myself complete and strong. "The trick is in what one emphasizes," he said. "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.""
-- Carlos Castaneda |
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