i think they found another cure for broken hearts and feeling insecure. | 11/08/2011 |
I tried. I practically begged to be properly rejected, and he couldn't even give me that. I wasn't looking for a love confession, I just wanted to believe I was worth the effort of rejecting, but I guess I wasn't. I gave him an out on a silver platter, and he even turned that down. I just wanted closure. I just wanted to know I was wasting my heart, my feelings on him. I didn't think asking to be rejected was such a big deal. I thought it made perfect sense. He wouldn't have to deal with me and my attempts anymore. He could just agree to reject me and we'd move on. We'd still be friends, I adore him too much to not have him in my life. I'm not saying he has to be in my life like he was, but he'd still be there. I still want him there. His lack of properly rejecting me though left me to make the decision of rejecting myself. Of picking my pride and emotions up from the floor and moving on. I know I was a fool for hanging on for so long, but some part of me believes in happy endings or something along those lines. I now know that this wasn't one of those times that an ending was going to be happy. This was one of those times when I had to decide to make an ending, and it was anything but happy. I'm not saying it was sad, just disappointing. Extremely disappointing.
Oh well. I guess this is the end, for real this time. There's nothing to hold onto anymore. There's no hope left. There's just what could've been, but wasn't.
Shannon
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