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Hopes&Dreams
by valencia

previous entry: I got the job!

next entry: Thanks everyone

Not having a good time.

04/01/2022

I don't even know where to start but honestly I hate California. We been here 90 days and been homeless for 90 days. His mom never let us stay at her house because of my dog Lucky so we been sleeping in motels and in the car. It has been a disaster. I don't think I have hated a person as much as I have.

We finally got approved for a house with roommates of course, I got fired from the job I got arriving here because I missed so many days and didn't have stable housing. I quickly got another job with a 3 dollar raise and I start Monday. And then to top it all off, this morning when I was supposed to pay the deposit my old job had no deposited my paycheck. They sent it via mail to my old address. An address that no longer is valid. So fml! We had most of the deposit and the landlord was like if you can get the deposit you can move in. We are still about 150 short but we been getting donations in. But still it is such a hassle. I hate hate having to ask for mutual aid when I know most.people are suffering. It is not fair to ask for it but I was out of options. Ryan got a loan for 250 but they will not deposit it into his account until Monday. His mom refuses to help us at all. She let me stay here in this week only because she is out of town but Lucky had to go to the baby sitters. Luckily she covered it because we can't afford any of this stuff. The motel for the week is like 700 so we door dashed to be able to have a place over our head. We don't qualify for any help because we make to much money.it is all bullshit. Texas being a republican state helps there citizens more than here in Cali. It is so bizzare to me.

On top of all this bullshit his mom scheduled a vacy back in January for her and Ryan and so Ryan is away until next Friday. Livid is an understatement.but he has issues saying no to her. And she is really horrible to Ryan when Ryan stands up for himself. So this really affecting our relationship. She is very codependent on him it is super bizarre. I don't care to not be included in this vacation because I can take myself anywhere once I am settled and caught up on payments. But what gets me about all this bullshit is she has the audacity to schedule a vacation when she knows damn well the time Ryan is away is time away from his Job and we depend a lot on his tips for food and gas etc. And not having his tips is hurting us. Like he works weekends and this weekend he is away so he loses time on the clock and on the tips. No fucking respect for your son and his job. Just because he is a busser does not mean his job is not important. She is such a fucking typical boomer. Like she told me that she worked her whole life to pay off her house and she thinks it is a badge of honor to work like a dog and I am thinking in my head you are idiot. When you retire in 4 years lady they will replace you instantly. I can't stand boot licker. Anyways I am just so frustrated. And I don't think I will ever like her. Because the way she treats us. The other day Ryan asked her if she would buy us breakfast and she refused. She did let us eat some left over pancake that she had like we are some we are less than. She doesn't like me. I have never been around a person that fights over food or is like. I have grown so much Ryan has also and our relationship has gotten stronger but since we signed the contract for a year we are going to see how it goes but I am leaning towards moving back to Texas next year. Ryan already said he will go back with me.

We will see
Anyways peace I know it is all jumbled but I really needed to vent.

previous entry: I got the job!

next entry: Thanks everyone

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