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U'szo' bolond vagyok!
by vatten mö

previous entry: hola

next entry: Greetings!

Hello Strange New World

11/16/2016

Why hello! I just saw how long it has been since I last posted anything on here. Shameful, Robyn, shameful!!! So, what have I been up to in the past year? I have been playing Frogger in the employment line...jumping from one job to another. There has not been a time when I did not have a job, however. The jobs I had were merely temporary jobs. I had to pay the bills somehow...imagine that.

I am currently looking for a second part time OR a full time job too. I am not getting enough hours to pay all my bills. I guess I am destined to work multiple jobs just to survive. Stupid new world, haha!

Onto sadder news...my beloved grandfather passed away at 82 in May. I have been severely grieving for the loss of his physical form. I do know that he will always be with me in my heart. Also, in my family and all the people he impacted. And there was a lot. I was at the hospital, and in his room, when he took his last breath. It was all I could do not to break down and cry. I am not a person who publicly cries and I was trying to be strong for family, fyi. For a week, I never let out all my grief for others to see. They saw slivers of it from time to time but I held back from bawling out loud. From the moment I stepped my foot back inside the privacy of my apt, I let all I was feeling at the moment OUT! I was inconsolable. I was useless to society. 6 months later, I can manage. I still cry and miss him but it is manageable. It has taken a lot to get me to this point. A LOT. I'm tearing up just typing this...if that tells you anything. I am not an emotional person most of the time. What brings me comfort regarding his death is that he was a believer. I was blessed to be in the room when he got his first glimpse of heaven. He has a troupe of family members and loved ones greeting him up there...his 2 siblings, his parents (fyi, he got to MEET his dad there whom died when grandpa was a baby), his daughter (my mom), his grandson (my cousin, Josh, who died nearly 3 years before), and countless others. He got to greet Jesus. The look of awe and wonder in his big blue eyes was so beautiful. It was an experience in itself to witness such joy. This is the most I have ever spoken about his death (in written form), just so you know. Okay....onto happier news...I need to move on!

I had another art piece in a local exhibit until the end of October. It portrayed Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin. I liked how it turned out...in my apt. Then, I got to comparing it to other (more established, experienced) artists, for the lack of a better word, and it started coming up lacking. I do know that I did the best that I can. I have pride in that. I also know that I do not have the training and experience that the other "artists" have. Enough said. It sold...finally...but it sold. I am happy.

Okay, I am out of here for now. Talk to you later. I hope you all are having a fantabulous day!--Your neighborhood pantomime, Robyn

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i lost my last grandfather 18 years ago ... it still hurts when i think about him. he was such a good man. so, the pain gets better ... but it never really leaves.

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