Final Revenge

04/07/2015

Have you ever really wanted to get back at someone, but didn't know how? I have found the perfect revenge. With help from a fellow friend, we have managed to help incarcerate all of the wrongdoers in our lives. Some of you may feel as though my actions are over the top, but if you can even begin to imagine the hurt I have endured from the relationships I have made with these people, you would wish to do the same. I do not feel as though my actions are selfish, as I am also keeping innocent civilians safe from harm. I like to consider myself a police officer without the license. For example, there was this guy. He was my best friend. We partied together damn near every weekend. I will never forget the nights that he would drop me off at the Domino's parking lot and make me walk the rest of the way home simply because he did not wish to drive the rest of the way. I didn't mind though. It was only four miles away and I didn't want to waste his gas. But on the bright side, walking the streets of New York City at 2 am is surprisingly peaceful because no one is on the streets to bother you. Everything was fine until one night when he decided to steal my brand new iPhone 6 to support his cocaine habits. That's when I knew he needed to be controlled by someone with more power than I.
I will not describe every unfortunate event I have been cursed to deal with in my lifetime, since there is such a ridiculous amount. I would just like to give you one more piece of my background to help you better your understanding of how horrible these people truly are. I recently moved into a new house with my family. I love this house and I love everything about it. Except for one of my neighbors, that is. We have a family tradition every week where we host relay races and we invite all of our neighbors, but she just won't come. I find this insulting because we plan these to be very special and people do not seem to appreciate them the way that we believe they should. I could deal with that if she didn't walk outside and smoke her cigarettes every day. I am terrified at the thought of the smoke drifting into my yard and killing my plants and animals. I woke up one morning to find the corn in our other neighbor's cornfield completely chopped down. I know that she stole this corn from our poor, elderly neighbor. This upsets me deeply because I see how hard farmers work and she doesn't deserve this corn. Especially not for free. A little off topic, but she wears hair extensions and they are slightly off colored. So I bet you're wondering what we could possibly have ever done to get revenge for these horrible injustices. We obtained an index card, along with a pen and set of rubber gloves, wrote down the names of people of this nature, and described slight exaggerations of the events which took place (making them all illegal, of course). We then took a trip to the police station around 1 am, slipped the index card under the door, and left undetected. Today, seven out of sixteen of these awful people are incarcerated. Three more of them are awaiting trial. I would not have wanted this any other way.