Journal 9

1 Being overbearing

i need to learn to love myself. that is really what it boils down to. as You know very well Master i am extremely insecure and that breeds being overbearing. while yes You are still first in my life i need to learn to focus more on me and learning to love myself and nurture and take care of me and learn how to respect me. as for doing that? i may need Your guidance and help on that one Master because i have spent my whole life being insecure and not liking myself very much so I'm not really sure how to go about just changing that now after all of these years. Hopefully You can help Me with that Master. that is really it in a nutshell. There are other ways i can show i care about people without being overbearing. for instance, i can resist the urge to argue about nothing. i know it may seem insignificant but in the long run it matters. Another example is Giving someone my full attention. so many times we are distracted by other things computers cell phones whatever the case may be that we don't truly pay attention to what people are saying. but if i were to stop what i am doing and seriously pay attention it might really make a difference. another example is compliment them. This one i already do not only with You Master but with other people. a really good one is send them a letter. you can really make someone's day just by writing them a few sentences. i never really thought about this but i guess it makes sense. Anyway for some reason i couldn't do that text in my colors i don't know wtf but anyway. that is what i came up with. i don't know what else You want from me i hope that is right. anyway it's getting close to bed time so i'm going to end this now You should be having me call soon. i love You so very much my precious beloved Master. thank You for all  You have done for me and all You continue to do for me. and thank You for punishing me when i deserve to be punished. Your jillian