Mine is definitely in the crapper.
Recently i have been trying to meet guys and go on dates but usually i find something i don't like about them so i can avoid going on the date and use that as an excuse. Examples being, they don't talk enough or they talk to much, they talk too perverted or don't show enough interest, they don't ask me any questions to get to know me, or they drive me crazy asking me too many questions. As you can see, there is nothing that makes me happy with any scenario. Although just recently part of the reason i didn't want to meet this new guy was because one day i stood in the mirror and i looked at myself from head to toe and this is what thoughts came to mind.
Hair: Long, life-less and boring
Eyebrows: thick and shapeless
Face: I wish i could afford laser hair removal.
Chin: Disgusting how some ways i move my head i get a double chin
Arms/Shoulders: Fat and Flabby
Boobs: While some women wish for boobs my size, all i see when i take off that bra is too boobs that sit on my stomach with nipples facing down to the floor cause theyre too heavy to stand on their own, and stretch marks from growing so large
Stomach: Lumpy, chunky and also has stretch marks, and scars from a surgery.
Lady bits: I don't know how any man could be attracted to that.
Butt: Huge and should only been let out of pants when its very dark
Thighs: Fat, jiggly and also scarred up from skin irritants like bandaids and my own sweat, very embarrassed about my thighs
Legs: Hate them.. i hate them so much i want to cry.. looking at them covered in gross diabetic ulcers that will never heal. Always having to cover them in bandaids so i dont have to explain why i look like i am mutating to men.
Feet: I hate feet, hate mine, short stubby gross toes which no matter how much i try never seem to look good, ive never worn an open toed shoe in my life.
So as you can see, i hate every single part of my body. I feel like i go beyond just a couple of flaws. I feel like men around my age shouldn't have to settle for something so disgusting when there is girls out there who are beautiful. I wish i could see something good about myself. I wish i knew how others were able to be so confident. I don't want to meet men because while i judge myself so harshly, i don't want to make it any more of a reality then it is.
How do you cope with your self image?