Woke up this morninbg not sure about hoow the day was going to go still not into it really, I am transgender i have alot of thoughts and feelings. My so called friend has turned on me mouthing off to the boarders here. I want to rruin him so nadly and just destroy him you would think some one you have known for twelve years would be more friendly that is until you refuse to do thing and only after he states he is not going to pay you for doing these things.For teh last year i have mowed the yard, drove the tractor, cleaned stalls basically every thing he ask and does not want to do him self.The thing is he is gay and for the last three months i have gotten so sick and tired of him talking about guys he wants to have sex with or who's dick he wants to suck or the guys he wishes he could get into his bed. My problem is now he is bad mouthing me and no matter what i say no one here will believe me no matter what i say. Whats funny all teh boarders have talked about him behond his back none of them know he is gay he lives in the closet worried about what every one else would do or think if they knew he was gay.If i were him i would be more worried about what the boarders would say if they new he had aids. But thats neither here nor there.No he wants me out and gone as fast as possible. I am on disability as well all i have heard for the last year is i need to go on welfare welfare this and that, Why would i throw away my disability to get paid less or nothing at all. Any way what do i do just wait it out and then let it go. he has not paid me a dime in a year he owes me for internet and TV, over 400 dollars yet he remark is he needs pocket money when i ask for what he owes me.He has cut me off from the world around me he complains when i ask to use a vehicle and he has two. when i ask he goes behond my back and bitches to boarders about it.I feel alone lost not sure whagt to do or say i mean i could destroy him but what good would that do. except make me look small and vendictive. and is it really worth making ones persons life hell just to feel better about the whole situation.I guess not.As the day goes on and the sun slowly towers over teh earth i can't help but to think of the one wonderful thing that as come into my life for a second time, That would be my Mistress. I have a good and trusting feeling about her i cannott explain but i do love being around her even though i wish she would actually do more in the way of Domme and sub/slave giggles, But i know her real life is busy and she is always on the go being tired when she finally gets the time t oset down at home and we can finally talk again and see each other.She now is another reason i have began to enjoy the days as they come and go again. I hope i can find a new place to move into soon or i am in trouble but i will not give up. have a great day is all i half to say to end this day in my diary.
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