Today she went in early to work in order to take a long lunch and come see me.
I love her. Not in the true love, forever and marriage way. No, in the puppy, butterflies, smiling for miles way.
I love her.
She told me she loved me and I didn't say it back. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Just like I want to hold her while kissing her and more... but I don't. I can't do that yet.
Truth be told I've been wanting to leave my marriage for about a year now. No, actually, for about 5 years but the past year I've really realized that I NEED to.
But now I've met her and I don't want to leave my marriage for someone else. I don't want it to be like that.
I've wanted to leave because I've been unhappy, unsupported, untouched for a long time. There is no relationship besides friendship. I know I deserve more than that. I'm a pretty awesome person. I deserve to be with someone that loves me to death. And that I feel the same way towards.
But I didn't want that YET. I wanted to be on my own for awhile. Sort my shit out.
I didn't mean to fall in love. |
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