Yes, I may be addicted to online poker. I'm scared to go to the casino, even though I know it'll be awesome fun.
Yeah, I live with a girl and we're in a bro-mance, but that doesn't make me lesbian. I don't care what anyone else thinks; they see us together all the time, she's my onli family in Canada and if we do everything together, it's nobody's business.
Maybe I'm pale skinned and European-born but I don't like to think I'm white. I can't decide if I like being mistaken for Canadian or not. I'm flattered, but on the other hand I feel like I'm just being erased. It's not like a have a big heritage I'm losing, because I don't realli belong anywhere, but there's some things I may not understand and people will think I'm an idiot because I'd never seen Tim's or skunks before last year.
I think I'm in love with this boy. It's all new and exciting and I still don't know the other person yet, so we're at the baby stage. I feel so little, It's all classes and boys and drinking... But on the other hand, I have to manage all my money with books, rent, food etc and I have to learn to cook. I have to study hard (my classes seem pretty hard this sem) and make sure I have my priorities straight. I feel mature being in a country all alone, and renting an apartment with my best friend. All our friends are off-campus now, and there's so many people to visit and party with. There's so many 'weekend' things to do, and not enough days in the weekend.
I was looking forward to a chill and relaxing new semester. With crazy classes on 2 days, and hot chocolate and studying on the other 3 days. Maybe a crazy Saturday and a chill sunday unwinding before the new week. Except now everyone's 19 and we've all been apart in the summer, there's so many people to see and there's so many clubs to go to...
I don't want a repeat of the beginning of my first semester. I was good, but I knew kids that went to hospital every weekend. There was EMS on campus too many nights a week because of drunk kids or high kids or stupid kids. As 2nd-years, we should be mature. I also know too many people on AP, and I'm going to try learn from their mistakes. I am not planning on needing a semester to prove myself worthy of my course. I love it, and will stick with it, and will finish with great grades (hopefully!)
Anyway. I just wanted to write down how I'm feeling at the beginning of this semester.
My back hurts from slouching and my legs are cramping because I haven't been running. My period is due and I still have nasty blisters on my feet, but I'm hopeful for the future. The most exciting thing at this point? Figuring this boy out. He's all I think about before I go to sleep <3 |
