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In The Shadows
by Concrete Rose

previous entry: Can't Sleep

next entry: Lion

Ups & Downs

02/23/2012

The past few days have been... ok. I'm trying to be normal and act normal, even though I still don't feel normal.



The past few days I've had those weird pains in my head. I haven't felt them since the beginning of the year, and after 2 days they went away. But I'm feeling them again and I'm not liking it. They aren't as bad or as frequent, but it's still annoying... and scary.



I was becoming more positive about things, but a week ago that started to change. I really thought I was getting better, and then I started to feel like shit again. It's hard not knowing what the hell is wrong with you and putting on an act for everyone. I want to believe it's the Yaz, but if I don't start my period next week then I'll feel like I'm back to square one. And then I'll have to wait until March to see if these symptoms come back again, if they even go away this time.



Amy keeps saying that she can tell in Ryan's voice that school and work is stressing him out, and he'd probably do anything to go out with Kim, Sheila & I. I'd love to go to Boston and surprise him for a weekend, but I feel like that's impossible for me at the moment. And he's probably too busy working on the weekend. Sheila heard that he misses it here, which is funny because he wanted to get out of here so bad. But life was so easy here and he had his friends. I really miss him.



Mark and I are doing good. *knocks on wood* We've been talking quite a bit lately, and I try not to always initiate the conversation. Whenever he txts me first and I see his name, it puts a smile on my face. :-)



Last night I ordered some things from Old Navy. Jeans are on sale for only $19. Sometimes when they have that sale and you go online the prices aren't the same. I noticed that with some of the jeans, but luckily the ones I like were on sale and in stock. I got 2 pair, plus a shirt for Cameron and Katelynn. I wanted to get something for Lucas, too, but I felt like $10 was expensive. I'm sure I can find him something cheaper. So those 4 things only cost me $34, which was awesome. I spent just over $50, so I got free shipping, plus I had a coupon for $15 off, and then another coupon for $5 off. So those jeans really only cost me $12, and then I got the shirts cheaper, too.



I work at 12 today, which kind of sucks. When 2 hits I'm ready for a nap and then I feel like the rest of the day drags. Julie closes and she is so full of drama lately that I can't stand working with her. At least Laura will be there with me.



And... I'm biting my nails again. Well, I never stopped, but I was getting better, and then the other night I bit off like 3 or 4 nails. So then after I did it I felt disappointed in myself. I feel like the ones that are grown out I should paint, but I would probably look funny with only 3 nails painted. A week ago it would've been 6. :-/


previous entry: Can't Sleep

next entry: Lion

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