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In The Shadows
by Concrete Rose

previous entry: Awww

next entry: scared

i love you

07/16/2009


you will never see this, and for that i am grateful, because i know if you did you would think i was completely crazy and never want to talk to me again.


sometimes i don't know how you put up with me. but sometimes i'm not sure how i can put up with you either. i think you have me wrapped around your finger without even knowing it. and honestly... i think your heart. but i could never say this to you. but if i did, i would finally be fulfilled. you know what? i just think you have me wrapped around you completely. mind, body, and soul.


it seems like when i need you the most you aren't there. i know you aren't doing it on purpose. but then i break down and become weak and i take it out on you. no matter how much i apologize and you tell me it's ok, i still don't think it's enough. why do we sometimes hurt the people we care about so much?


sometimes i feel like i miss you so much more than you miss me. another reason why i think you have me wrapped around you. but no matter how much i tell myself that i shouldn't tell you this so often, i can't help but not. i want you to know i miss you and i think about you. all. the. time.


it's times like these, when i need you the most, that i feel like i hardly know you. i feel like i am such a small part of your life, and it hurts to think this is true. you say you hate "normal" conversations, but because of this i know so little about you. you know how much i love our not-so-normal conversations, but don't you wish you knew more about me, too? or are we just waiting for the right time...


and i know the right time will be soon, but sometimes i feel like you aren't trying. i try not to bring it up, but it's hard because i'm impatient and i want the right time to be RIGHT NOW. i know it's not easy, and work doesn't help, but i just wish i knew you were trying harder. but like i said... i try not to bring it up because then i feel like i'm pushing you away. and any time i bring it up is when i need you the most... it's a circle that i always find myself stuck in the middle of.


sometimes you know exactly what's on my mind. but if you knew what was on my mind right now you'd run in the opposite direction. i know i usually tell you what i'm thinking when i'm having a moment like this, but this is too much. and i could never say any of this until the right time...


and do you know what i want to say to you the most?

previous entry: Awww

next entry: scared

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