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Hiya!!
by AMH

previous entry: :'(

next entry: why you gotta be so mean??

picture. possible trigger for some I'm sorry

04/23/2015

So I took my rings off again. He says he's "fed up" with me and "on the fence about continuing this relationship". Fine........ Let's see if this gets the message across that I don't want to fucking be here anymore!! I want the pain to stop......

previous entry: :'(

next entry: why you gotta be so mean??

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Listen. This shit isnt cool. No matter how big of a dick he is, its not fair of you to hang death threats around the house like that. You cant put the responsibility of your life on someone else. Your life is yours. If youre so completely miserable, then you need to leave. You are the ony person keeping yourself in your current situation. You need to ask yourself why you keep choosing this life for yourself. Find your happiness. The only person responsible for that is YOU. And you alone.

[.Kismet.|0 likes] [|reply]

this is not a mature approach at all…. do you really want someone to stay with you just because you're threatening suicide? that's just going to make him resent you more. just get out of the relationship. feel the shitty feelings that come from breaking up, look for legitimate help and move on.

[.::erin::.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

No its not fair what he does to you, I never, ever said that it was. But being treated badly by someone is never a justifiable reason for treating that person badly and doing something so psychologically damaging. Especially when its in the form of you telling him that him that he better treat you right/respect you/what have you or you'll kill yourself. How is that helping the situation?? And why have you placed so much importance on such a dick of a man that you're willing to take your own life based on whether or not he loves you. Fuck that. Fuck him. Having a lack of a vehicle should not stop you. Put your shoes on. Pack your bag. Take a bus to a family or friends house. Or stay at a city mission, get a job and save your money until you can afford a place on your own or with the help of the government. Women do it every day.

I read your posts all of the time and I've commented before. Honestly there's nothing keeping you there except for yourself. Thousands of men and women migrate from hostile countries to the safety of other countries with nothing but the clothes on their back. Often times they have children in tow. But they do it. And they make a new life for themselves. A better life. There's no reason why you cant do the same. There's no ocean between you and your freedom. There are no border patrols. There are no chains shackling you to the floor. So take your life back. Put on your shoes and go. No one should ever have to live like you're living, and you shouldn't be the one person getting in your way.

Since you don't want my opinion, I will not comment again on your diary. But I hope you at least heard some of what I had to say. Taking your own life is your doing, and yours alone. You are the only person keeping yourself in that house. And you shouldn't be in that house. Period. You deserve to be happy. And if I was anywhere close to you, I'd come and help you pack and take you away myself. I wish you the best and I hope you find the courage you need to create your own happiness.

[.Kismet.|0 likes] [|reply]

but why does it have to be his decision? there are 2 people in this incredibly unhealthy relationship, both are unhappy and you're leaving it up to him to say goodbye? and the consequence of him not wanting to be with you is what?

[.::erin::.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

If you are so miserable in this relationship and clearly he is as well, time to pack it in. Nothing will change unless you advocate for change and the only person who will look out for you and your best interest is YOU. You are in charge of your own happiness.

[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Are you serious about this?

[Reincarnated-Fairy|0 likes] [|reply]

You are taking my question out of context. Allow me to rephrase..

Are you serious about losing your own life just to make him happy?

[Reincarnated-Fairy|0 likes] [|reply]

I'm sorry you are hurting. I suffer from depression and anxiety. Trust me when I say I've been where you are, But you don't need to end your life to get rid of the pain hon.

The pain we feel even though it's unbearable, There's still good that comes after it. You needing your life to end your pain is being selfish because you are causing others pain.

You need to seek help. Please.

[Reincarnated-Fairy|0 likes] [|reply]

I'm sorry to hear/read about loved ones passing. You aren't the only one who has lost people AMH. You aren't the only one who feels hates. Those people are still alive and kicking and making their lives better.

I'm not much older then you. Again I've been where you are. But not everyone hates you and to be honest, I think you are just making excuses.

If you want to pain to stop? Get outside, MAKE new friends. Be positive for once. From what I've read from you and about you in your comments. You need to start thinking positive or your "PAIN" is there to stay.

Have a nice life.

[Reincarnated-Fairy|0 likes] [|reply]

but what if he never is honest with you? what if this miserable relationship drags on and on while you're waiting for him to officially say he doesn't want to be with you? giiirrrlll just get the hell outta there!

[.::erin::.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

how long is it going to take to get a car? is there a social services type of office that can help? at least with planning where you can live?

[.::erin::.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

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next entry: why you gotta be so mean??

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