what's it feel like when the one person on the face of this earth looks at you with hatred and disgust in his eyes? it's heartbreaking. earth shattering. hurtful. depressing. so many more things that cannot describe the pain that pierces my heart every time. i try my best i really do. i try to make it work. i want to desperately but he doesn't seem to care....he lies about the little things, not just to me, to everyone. he doesn't spend any time with me, he is always on his game or the phone with his friend, and when we do spend time together, it ends up in a fight. he doesn't cuddle with me anymore, hell we hardly ever touch anymore. he doesn't kiss me much anymore, i feel no affection from him whatsoever. the last time he kissed me? honestly, i can't even remember. we used to kiss at least twice a day. now he won't even come to bed until after i'm asleep. i am responsible for everything now. he shows no initiative whatsoever outside of his game. i have been wondering lately if he's been cheating on me, but how do you bring that up in conversation?? oh hey honey work was alright are you sleeping around on me lately how was yourday? yeah, THAT will go over incredibly well. i've told him now 4 times in the last month and a half that i feel like he doesn't love me anymore, and he hasn't done anything to prove it lately. i was raised to believe that a marriage is a LIFETIME commitment. not just to give up at the first sign of conflict. i just wish there was a little more effort on his part. i'll write more later i gotta go to bed. too tired to think of anything but keeping it together. crying myself to sleep again while he plays the game. again. doesn't care. whatever. i'll deal. just needed to vent a little. sorry..... |
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